(The password to edit this wiki is "ravenwho")

FACT! On Nov 6, 2007, Pittsburgh will elect someone to be mayor!

FACT! That someone should be ME!

Unfortunately, I didn't realize this until a couple weeks ago. This means, if you want me to be your mayor, you need to WRITE MY NAME ON THE BALLOT on Nov. 6! (I can't represent you if you don't try!)

In the meantime, YOU can help me choose:

1. A political party. (I'm thinking Libertarian, but Republicans seem to be popular these days...)

2. A platform. (So far, I'm feeling very strong about one word: "Parklets." A parklet on every corner...)

3. Public service announcements. (That's where all the PAC money gets spent these days, right?)

4. Cheerleaders. (And if I win, I'll let them deport Steely McBeam to Cleveland.)

Interested? Have some time? Like to work for cheap (or maybe sometimes brownies)? Join the conversation!

Notes from the first Mathis 4 Mayor campaign meeting:

Things I Appear to Be For:

Diversity (with people I like)

Gambling

Legalized Prostitution

Protecting Our Ports

More Cops

Graft

Things I Appear to Be Against:

Diversity (with people I don't like)

Public transportation

Education reform

The elderly

The poor

Terror

Possible Slogans:

With Mathis 4 Mayor, Pittsburgh's a player... on the WORLD stage!

Mathis Mathis Mathis Go! Go! Go!

Get on The Mathis Train!

Mathis: He Can't Be Worse Than Murphy!

Sweeping Changes To Be Instituted:

Halter top Tuesdays throughout the city (No fatties, please)

Parklets, everywhere

Building a "Chinatown"

Talking Points

Q: How does Rich Mathis feel about the aging population in Pittsburgh?

A: "Enforced euthanasia."

Q: What's Rich Mathis's take on Mark Desantis's Safety Plan for the city?

A: "More cops? Hey, he stole that from me!"

Q: How would Rich Mathis improve public transportation in Pittsburgh?

A: "Have you smelled a bus? I wouldn't set FOOT on a bus! If I did, wouldn't be able to step OFF the bus..."

Constituency Contributions

I would like to nominate Buddy Nut as the official band of the Mathis4Mayor campaign. -MrDirby

This campaign is proudly sponsored by the fine folks at Something to Be Desired.

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